My inspriation...

(My sleeping beauty.)

"No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother." --Margaret Sanger

I am not an eloquent enough of a writer to describe the joys of being a mother. Today, right now, my sweet baby is sleeping. Her beautiful resting face can almost bring me to tears. I couldn't be happier. For the past three days I have hardly gotten to see my family. I am at work when they are asleep and I am asleep when they are awake...the worst part about my schedule. So I look forward to Tuesdays, my day off, like most people look forward to Fridays. This is MY time, and my time alone, to be with Samantha. I don't have to share any of her with anyone. I can hold her as much as I want. Play with her as frequently as she will let me. And love on her with all of my silly faces. No one is around so I get to delight in her all by myself. When she smiles I know that smile was meant just for me. When I hear her "talk" I know that she is talking to me.

These days, my alone days with her, are nothing short of amazing. I soak up everything there is about her; her smell, her sounds, her sweet face, and little hands, her round belly, her beautiful blue eyes, her cute dimples.

Every parent gives their child a nickname of sorts, ne a term-of-endearment. My father called me Peach and still does to this day. My mother called me and now calls Samantha, Bundle of Joy, BOJ for short. Now as a mother myself, I call my sweet baby, Chunky Monkey. HA While that doesn't sounds much like a term-of-endearment, to me it is. It is what I lovingly call her to let her know she is extra special to me. Not just my baby Samantha but also my very own Chunky Monkey. Hopefully when she grows out of her chunky stage I will come up with a new, more sweet, nickname for her. Because to me she is the sweetest thing in the world.

Jeff and I were talking last night about how as we get to know Samantha better we love her more and more. Just like the more I get to know my husband the more I love him. I wonder, how big can my heart be? The amount of love that I have for my daughter and my husband is so big. Will someday my heart explode from all the love? When she chooses to give her life to Christ, will it explode then? When I watch my daughter marry the man of her dreams, will it explode then? When she brings her very own child into this world, will it explode then? Will my chest become hump-backed to make room for my growing heart? I think now that God's heart must be as big as the sun to account for the love of all his children.

Samantha,

Someday you will read this and I want you to know that you are a blessing to your father and I. We wanted you so much! We love you more that I can describe and will do everything we can to take care of you, teach you everything you need to know, help develop your relationship with Christ, prepare you for the "real" world and love you with two REALLY big hearts.

Love, Mom